Cats are funny creatures. One minute they want their space, and the next, they want to cuddle up on your lap. (Or, they completely ignore you until it’s dinner time.) While it may sometimes seem like your cat couldn’t care less about you, they actually form bonds with us and become attached to us¹.

These bonds are mutually beneficial, too. Cat ownership has been found to lower stress², decrease the risk of allergies in children³, and improve your quality of life. Not a bad deal, right?

If you’re curious how to bond with your cat, especially if they’re not overly affectionate to begin with, you’re not alone. You can take steps to help build trust and a relationship with your cat.

How to Bond With Your Cat

Part of the bonding process is taking the time to learn what your cat likes. Each cat is different. What one cat enjoys, another might not. When trying the following activities, notice what kind of cues they're sending you and remember to respect their boundaries.

Grooming

Brush and groom your cat regularly — if they enjoy it. Forcing grooming can damage the bond you share with your cat if they do not enjoy it. If they do like it though, it’s a great way to spend time together.

Pay Attention to Quality Time

Spend time each day petting, snuggling with, and playing with them. But pay attention to your cat’s cues — if they want space, give it to them. Your bond will grow if you respect their cues.

Training

It’s possible to train your cat. Working together to train a skill is a great way to build and strengthen the bond you share. You may even impress your friends, too!

Go for a Walk

You can leash train your cat to go on walks or hikes with you. Not all cats will like leash walking, but it can be a fun way to spend quality time with your cat. Just make sure they’re protected with a safe and effective flea and tick preventative prior to exploring the outdoors. Check to see if the product also provides coverage for intestinal parasites, since cats may have increased exposure to them by being outdoors. And, of course, ensure your cat has an ID collar and/or is microchipped.

Flea and Tick Preventatives

A flea infestation or tick bite can hinder your bond with your cat. Whether your cat is constantly itching, you're finding flea dirt in your home, or finding a tick, these parasites can cause stress and frustration for you both. Using flea and tick prevention can prevent these problems and help you and your cat strengthen your bond. Some flea and tick preventatives for cats require you to wear gloves to apply or to refrain from touching them for a period of time. When choosing a safe and effective flea and tick medication, ask your veterinarian about options.

Meal-Feeding

Feeding your cat at specific times during the day, as opposed to free-feeding them, can be an easy way to engage, interact, and spend more time with your cat. It also helps them associate you with one of their favorite things — eating.

How to Protect the Existing Bond With Your Cat

Once you’ve learned how to bond with your cat, you’ll want to protect that bond you share. There are some common things that can undermine the bond you share with them, but measures can be taken to ensure it remains strong.

• Limit Stress in the Home
  Events that cause you to feel stressed (like moving, the holidays, a new baby, or a new pet) can cause your cat stress, too. Try to keep your cat’s routine as normal as possible and respect their need for attention or space.
• Be Aware of Cat Illnesses
  If your cat becomes ill or has a painful condition like osteoarthritis or dental disease, they may start to act differently, including shying away from you. If your cat is acting differently than normal, they may be in pain. Helping to manage their pain or illness can help them return to their normal selves, and help you rebuild the bond with your cat.
• Keep Them Healthy
  Bring them for their regular wellness check-ups with your veterinarian to help keep them healthy and parasite-free. Take steps to ensure a stress-free trip before you head to the vet.
• Watch Out for Inappropriate Behavior
  The bond between you and your cat can be strained if your cat is scratching things they shouldn’t or acting aggressively. Providing your cat ample scratching posts, lots of exercise, and respecting their boundaries can help them control their unwanted behavior.
• Pay Attention if They’re Going Outside Their Litter Box
  If your cat is peeing or pooping outside of their litter box, it can mean a medical problem, stress, or a problem with their litter box set up. Whatever the cause, it can certainly damage your bond with your cat. Be sure to provide them with ample litter boxes (the number of cats you have plus one) and take steps to decrease stress. If those steps don’t work, it’s time to talk with your veterinarian to see if there may be a medical reason.

If you detect a change in your cat’s “normal”, don’t hesitate to seek professional veterinary care. Learn more about understanding your cat’s behavior and health here.