If you have pets who are closely bonded to each other, you’ve likely found yourself wondering, “When one of them dies, will the other understand?” It’s a heart-wrenching question we all face. It’s not entirely clear how well cats and dogs truly understand the concept of death, but we do know they can certainly feel the impact of loss. Thankfully there’s much you can do to help your pet process the loss of their companion and come out the other side.

Signs Your Cat or Dog May Be Grieving

Every animal is unique and will feel loss differently. Some can spend years together and seem unphased when their longtime companion passes away, while others may start to show signs of anxiety or sadness in the days leading up to and following the loss of their friend. You may see mild or severe signs — both of which can be extremely difficult to witness as a pet owner. While the signs and severity may vary, it’s really about noticing changes in your dog or cat’s daily habits. These are some cat or dog grieving symptoms you may notice:

• Eating less than normal or refusing to eat at all
• Sleeping more than usual
• Inability to sleep
• Seeking out the favorite spots of their lost friend
• Vocalizing more, less, or in a different way than usual
• Decreased energy 
• Melancholy and lack of interest in things that generally get a response 
• Seeking more attention
• Restlessness
• Increase in separation anxiety behaviors, such as destructive chewing
• Avoiding attention or interactions
• Changes in potty habits and grooming 

How to Help a Grieving Dog or Grieving Cat

Remember, you know your pet best. Think about what they respond to. How do they react to things like verbal praise, petting, play, and quiet time? In what situations are they likely to feel their loss more intensely? Use this insight as you comfort them. Keep in mind that how to help a grieving cat may differ from a grieving dog and vice versa. Here are some suggestions that may help:

Be There

You are one of your pet’s best sources of comfort and stress relief. Give them attention as they need it. Set aside extra time for play sessions, grooming, snuggling, and other things they enjoy. 

Scent Is Important

Keep a few blankets, beds, and other items that are heavy with the scent of your pet who passed away. They may bring some relief to your grieving dog or cat.

An Active Mind Is a Happier Mind

Quiet time together is helpful, but it’s also very healing to live and experience new things. Give your grieving pet and yourself something to be excited about. Have special play sessions, walks, and other enriching experiences.

Keep Your Routines

Keeping your pet’s routine in place can give them a sense of security and familiarity during a confusing and challenging time.

Manage Your Emotions

This one is tough—but remember, how we’re feeling can influence how our pets are feeling. In times of stress and sadness, our dogs and cats often try to take care of us as much as we take care of them.

Let Them Say Goodbye

Depending on the circumstances of your pet’s passing, and your personal feelings on the matter, you may find it helpful to allow your living dog or cat a moment with the body of your pet who passed. We don’t know how fully they understand what’s happening, but it’s thought that being able to smell the body of their companion can sometimes ease the grieving process (as it may help them understand what happened).

Give It Time

It’s essential to allow your cat or dog (and yourself) time to process the loss of the other pet. Acknowledging grief is important to learning how to live with it as you and your pet adjust to the missing presence in your family’s day-to-day routine.

If your dog or cat continues to show worrisome behavior after a month, speak with your veterinarian. While it may feel like you need to go out and bring home another pet to cheer everyone up, this can be difficult for both you and your current pet. Be thoughtful and consider whether you and your pet are genuinely ready to add another member of the family during the grieving process.

While you can’t take your pet’s pain away, you can certainly help them through their grief. You may even find it helps you through your grief in the process.